Breaking out

By Elizabeth Jones

Walking out onto the stage, I feel like my whole world is coming to an end. I feel like I am going to cry. As I step closer to the stage, I grip my papers tighter and tighter. At this point I just want to faint, but I keep going. I pace myself. Why, I don’t know. But I have a story to tell and I want the world to know. This is my start to getting over my shyness.

Now I’m at the podium. I look out into the audience and all I see are faces looking at me, but in my head they’re laughing. I start by saying “hello” and saying my name and the title of my poem, which is “HIV AND AIDS.” I begin to recite my poem and I can hear people saying, “Wow! I can’t believe she mastered a skill so good that she can retell it in a poem form.” If they only knew that it wasn’t just a poem – it’s the story of my best friend’s life in only a few short months.

I hear that support and it helps me to keep going. As I’m closing out my poem, I can hear a woman say, “Man, that’s deep.” Then one of the judges asks why I wrote this poem, and I answer: “My friend. This is her story, and I wanted to share it with others so they can be aware of certain situations and the effects they will have on your life.”

It wasn’t easy for me to get up on that stage, but it was something I needed to do to get over shyness – getting up in front of hundreds of people and just doing want I love. In the process, I gained a lot more. I got confidence and I also got to be myself. I felt free. I felt like I was on top of the world.

I wanted to know if shyness makes a big impact on teens’ lives, so I went to my counselor, Benetta King of Young Creative Minds, a teen community volunteer organization in Chicago, and asked her opinion. She told me she has talked to a lot of students who are shy and they said it’s not easy for them to open up to people.

“Some people are not big fans of large crowds,” she said. It is hard for shy people have a good social life because they are scared of what people have to say about them. She also told me that shyness doesn’t affect your schoolwork or grades, which surprised me. She also informed me that students who are shy are likely to be more comfortable being alone. That surprised me, too, because when I was shy I didn’t like being by myself. I wanted to make friends, but didn’t know how or where to start. I asked her if she thought that might be the problem -- that shy people want to make friends, but don’t know how. She agreed that that could be true. “It’s hard for a lot of shy kids to overcome their shyness,” she said. “But most grow out of it or most of the time it’s just a phase.”

But what can a teenager do to get over their shyness? If you are shy and trying to overcome it, getting up in front of a group like I did would be one way to start – but try it in a smaller group, just so you’ll be comfortable. Then later, try a bigger group and see how you’ll feel.

It can be overwhelming if you jump into a tough situation too quickly.

Take my friend Tashiana Armstrong, for example. She entered a talent show and everything was going great -- until she found out how many people were going to be there. She still went on to practice and get ready for her big show. When the day came, she was very nervous; as it got closer and closer to her turn, she began to tremble. Even though she was scared, she was still determined to prove that she wasn’t shy. When it came to her turn, she was shaking and looking in the direction of the exit. But she still went on, and as she got to the top of the stairs, she had a look on her face as if she were going to be sick. At this point she was on stage, waiting for her cue. As the music started, she just stood there looking into the audience – then the next thing you knew, she was running off stage crying.

It’s not easy to overcome your shyness, but you can do it if you set your mind to it. Like my mommy always said to me, it’s mind over matter. For example, I know if Tashiana ever enters another talent show, she’ll know what to expect. As I look at her now, I can clearly see that she is ready and just waiting for the right time to come out of her shell. So if you know you’re not ready, then don’t beat up on yourself, because it takes a lot of guts to do what she did.

The key is to start small and keep practicing, said Tim Arends, an expert on shyness who has written books on the subject, in an e-mail to this reporter. “Practice getting out and meeting people as much as possible, starting with the easier situations first,” said Arends. “Visualizing is practicing in your mind," he said, "sort of like role-playing.” Arends said that shyness is something that can be overcome; it just takes practice. That what Tashiana and I discovered.

Shyness it not a bad thing, but I learned that shyness can hinder you in a lot of different ways. Shyness can cause you not to have friends, not to show off your talent. I know you might feel that people are judging you, but how would you know if you don’t get out there and try? Being shy shouldn’t hold you back from making friends and living the high life. So practice on how you can overcome your shyness, even if it is just by reading other people's stories and opinions on how they overcame theirs. Trust me, I know. I’ve been there and I have walked a long time in your shoes.

Elizabeth Jones is a student at Frederick Douglass Academy High School.

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