If she had known

By Nia McLin
Photo by Nia McLin

A year ago, 15-year-old Kay D. (who asked that her last name not be used), a student in a Chicago public school, was just your average teenager. Monday through Friday, she went to school, where she went to classes and hung out with her friends; afterward, she went to softball practice and did her homework. If she felt like it, she would watch TV or talk on the phone until bedtime.

But now, her life revolves around her 7-month-old son, Kalen. Instead of lallygagging in front of the mirror in the morning, Kay is changing Kalen’s diapers. While she's at school, the baby goes to daycare. After a full day of classes, Kay still has to do her homework, but she also has to feed and take care of the baby. She is still able to play on the softball team because of help from the baby’s grandparents, but when she comes home, it’s back to work. She puts Kalen to sleep, packs his baby bag and lays his clothes out for the next day. After a full day of school and parenting, Kay sometimes isn’t able to complete her homework, so she has to finish it the next day during lunch.

It may sound like a lot to manage, but to Kay it is not that extreme.

Kay was 14 years old when she found out she was pregnant. She decided to keep the baby because she waited too late to get an abortion. It was also her mother’s and the dad’s mother’s first grandchild, so they were somewhat happy about the situation. Kay is luckier than most. For many girls, getting pregnant would be a scary and disappointing situation but Kay really wasn’t that perturbed. “I was nonchalant,” she said. “I really didn’t take it that seriously.”

Kay is not alone. Teen pregnancy is a complex and problematic issue that affects many teenage girls. According to the Women’s Health Channel website, “Teenage pregnancy rates remain high and approximately one million teenage girls become pregnant each year in the United States." About 13 percent of U.S. births involve teen mothers and about one in four of those teen moms have a second baby within two years.

But this is just the tip of the iceberg. Being a teen mother can pose other problems, experts say, because teen moms can have a difficult time maintaining a stable environment for themselves and their newborn babies.

“Teens that have babies have a higher risk of not finishing high school because they feel isolated in their classrooms,” said expert Nancy Thompson, administrator of the Teen Parenting Service Network.

Not only do the teens suffer in school and at home, but their relationships do, too. “Teen relationships start to take a toll with their partners because they wind up arguing over finances as well as real life issues; (like) where the food is going to come from and where they are going to live,” Thompson said.

The question that may be circling everyone’s minds is if contraception is so easily accessible -- you can purchase them in nearly every gas station and grocery store -- why are so many teenage girls getting pregnant? The protection is available, counseling is available, birth control is available; all couples have to do is use them to prevent a critical mistake that could cost them their future.

Some people say the answer is sex education. With more than 49 million children in the United States attending public schools, experts say schools are the perfect place to reach out to teens. But there is no standard curriculum for sex education in Chicago Public Schools, so what students are taught varies from classroom to classroom. Even when they have gone through sex education, Thompson said, teens believe they are “invincible,” which results in a high rate of STDs among young teen parents.

“They have been taught about safe sex practices, but they still continue to believe that it will not happen to them,” she said.

Parents, too, play a huge role in their teens’ lives. Parents need to talk to their children about sex education and stay involved in their children’s lives as much as possible. Teens feel highly influenced by their parents when it comes to decisions about sex, love and relationships because parents are their children’s role models. When you don’t have a positive person or people in your life, the effects may be critical. Every action has a consequence and what you do today may affect your future tomorrow.

Today, Kay is healthy, financially stable and still in school. Because her mother provides for her and Kalen, she still gets just about everything she needs and wants. And because the baby sleeps through the night, she says she isn’t losing any sleep. But even though Kay may not feel the burden now, she probably will later when she has to get out on her own and experience the world.

Said Kay: "I know I have to continue to push for a better future, not only for myself but for my son. He deserves the best and that's what I strive to give him." Nia McLin attends Morgan Park High School.